That's right readers...this blog is being delivered to you from the great state of Louisiana.  As I was making my way down here via Delta, I stopped off in the Atlanta airport and picked up a shiny new copy of Us Weekly.  Being the loving blogger that I am, I've pinpointed some of the highlights of this issue just for you:

Highlight #1:  If you've seen the issue on the stands, you might be asking yourself, "Yeah, why did Nick choose Vanessa?" 

Answer:  She's MUCH more intelligent than Jessica.  Seriously. 

Highlight #2:  A section entitled, "Look Who's on MySpace.com," in which the myspace profiles of certain male celebrities are scrutinized in a nifty little chart.  Let me give you the rundown:

Star                                            What They Say

Rob Schneider                             "I'm a family guy, and I talk a great amount."

Greg Kinnear                               "I'm a red wine kind of guy, and I'm not a big partier."

David Schwimmer                        "My favorite color is blue...my favorite food is pasta and I don't look like Ray Romano :)." 

Oh, David Schwimmer- how did I know that you would be the one to utilize the dreaded emoticon?  It's just so very...Ross Gellar. 

and finally...

Highlight #3:  An article entitled "Losing Control," in which reporter Gabe Guarente examines the hard-partying ways of La Lohan, and asks the question that I can safely say has been weighing on the minds of all Americans: "Can she bounce back?"  Now, I had a hunch that this feisty little redhead would work her way back into my heart eventually.  I wasn't sure when, I wasn't sure how-- I just knew it would happen. 

And lo and behold, according to this article, mere hours before La Lohan was hospitalized for "dehydration" and "exhaustion" on July 25, she was spending her time at Guy's, a West Hollywood karaoke club, **belting out Journey songs.**  And to that, all I can say is welcome back, baby girl, welcome back. 

And hey, if they start giving you trouble again over not showing up to work on time, just do what Britney did: go regional.  I'm pretty sure "I'm from Long Island" is as good an excuse for stupidity as "I'm country"...maybe even better.